7 Actions that Say ‘You Matter’
You can’t make people feel important. But you can show them they matter.
It’s destructive to foster feelings of insignificance. If someone doesn’t contribute, they shouldn’t be on the team.
Don’t say, “You matter.” Prove it.
7 Actions That Say ‘You Matter’
#1 Let their fish be bigger.
Our “fish” is us. Belittle the fish, and you belittle the person.
Making people feel small might inflate your ego, but leadership is about energizing others—not draining them.
#2. Walk on thin ice.
Be uncertain. Know-it-alls don’t ask real questions. Certainty is disinterested.
Even if you think you know, ask anyway. Don’t fake ignorance—it’s manipulative. Try:
“I have some ideas, but I’m interested in your thoughts.”
“I wonder if I’m missing something.”
“I could be wrong. What do you think?”
#3. Put out the welcome mat.
When people offer to help, let them. Say, “Thank you.”
#4. Be a dog on a bone.
Focus on the person in front of you. Glancing at your computer signals disinterest. Scanning the room while conversating insults people.
#5. Put on your oxygen mask.
Take a breath.
Hurry implies the next thing matters more than the person in front of you. Fidgeting says you want to leave—even if you don’t.
When time is tight, name it:
“I have a meeting in 10 minutes. Is five minutes enough for you?” When time’s up, stop or ask them to walk with you.
Stay calm and focused until the end.
#6. Shine the spotlight.
When someone honors you, honor them more. Don’t lower yourself—lift them.
#7 Sniff other people’s business.
Show interest in the interests of others. People feel valued when you’re fascinated with their pursuits.
What could you do today to let someone know they matter?
How do leaders disrespect others unintentionally?
Beyond Gratitude: Show People They Matter
