The Day I Gave My Wife Instruction
Yesterday my wife said, “You drive weird.” In a professorial tone, I told her, “That’s judging, not observing.” She got instruction she didn’t ask for.
I continued the lesson, but she was laughing too loud to hear me.
Getting a rise:
Truth is I was driving ‘weird’. I was speeding up downhill to capture momentum and save gas. I slowed instead of braking to avoid wear—when no one was behind me. I exaggerated to get a rise out of my wife.
Feedback-Correction-Instruction-Coaching-Mentoring
The purpose of feedback isn’t judging, instructing, or correcting. Give feedback to help people see themselves more clearly.
Feedback comes before correction. “I noticed you arrived late for the last three meetings.”
When you correct, get to the point. Don’t use manipulative questions. When you notice a pattern of arriving late, say, “I need you to arrive on time.”
Instruction or coaching follows correction. When appropriate, adopt a coaching approach. Ask, “How important is arriving on time to you?” If their number is low, ask, “How can you make it more important?”
Perhaps you’d like to mentor them. “This is what I do to arrive on time.”
Giving Instruction to Your Spouse:
My suggestion is don’t teach your spouse. However, my wife enjoys teaching me how to drive. Apparently, a moment-based driving philosophy doesn’t make sense.
What relationship do you see between Feedback-Correction-Instruction-Coaching-Mentoring?
When to Coach and When Not To | AMA
