The Leaderly Pursuit of Advice
You look needy when you seek advice poorly.
I recently encouraged a leader to reach out to a member of her board for input. She said that she wanted to talk to him but was concerned about perception. Would he think she’s weak? I explained that he will think you’re smart if you do it skillfully.
Successful leaders seek wisdom from others.
The Leaderly Pursuit of Advice
Don’t say:
- I need some advice.
- What do you think I should do?
- I don’t know what to do.
- I’m at the end of my rope.
- I want to improve. The word “improve” is too broad.
Set direction:
Begin with a forward-facing goal. Don’t ask, “How do I solve tensions on the team?” Instead say, “I’m working to build supportive relationships on the team.”
Avoid, “I’m working to improve team dynamics.” Explain what you want to improve.
A narrow focus invites actionable advice. Explain your focus of concern specifically.
When seeking input, say:
- What have you learned?
- I’m working to build supportive relationships on the team. How did you build a team that depends on each other?
- What are some things leaders should avoid when (state your goal)…?
- I’m gathering ideas about…. What suggestions do you have? Always use the plural. The singular creates obligations.
Advantages of seeking wisdom skillfully:
You build relationships and gain support when you seek another’s wisdom. A board member, for example, is more likely to stand behind your leadership if you learn from his or her experience.
You’ll be surprised at the insight that surrounds you.
What have you learned about learning from others?
https://hbr.org/2015/01/the-art-of-giving-and-receiving-advice
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